bayestheoremmaxxing

from a very young age the one thing my mom always used to tell me was how much i hated correction - "siji you soo much hate correction" she would say every single time after she scolds me, and she was right, i hated it sooo much, even if i knew i was wrong i would still argue that i was right,

the concept of another person having information more correct than i did was foreign to me, i felt like the most correct person in the world if that makes sense i would argue with anyone at anytime just so that i would look correct

just so that i would look correct

look correct

just so i wouldn't look wrong

the fear of looking wrong, this is where it all starts from, this same phobia is connected to other life destroying traits, the fear of looking embarrased, the fear of looking cringe, basically the fear of other people's perspectives on your life,

at the end of the day it's just a hold other people have on you, but we're not done we can even go deeper in this investigation, what does "the hold other people have on you" mean, what does it mean to hold something and be able to shake it around, it means the foundation or root of that item is not strong enough, you can't go and shake a tall oak tree, it won't budge, you basically have no hold over that oak, it's indifferent to whatever pressure you apply on it, this is the key to whatever blueprint we're drawing here, having a strong hold of ones identity, but to have that also needs some sort of accpetance or, better yet, love of who that oneself is (if that makes anysense) you can't hold strongly onto something you don't love or accept, the key to all these our problems starting from the fear of looking wrong is lack of self love,

self love

self love ?

love ?

unfortunately a subject i can't say much on, i genuinely cant tell you if i have this self love or not but unlike you i feel like i have found a shortcut, a tunnel to avoid all these hurdles to be able to land at the acceptance of correction

i'm finally at a point where i love correction, i yearn for it, i need it, i must have it, i wish i could get corrected everyday, there's a beauty in going from a wrong perspective on something to a right one and i adore that beauty, i dream of her every night

i'm bayestheoremmaxxing, the reverend will be most proud of me if he met me today, i'm constantly updating information in my head with the correct ones, and one might think that this is some sort of evil, but i reject that

basil hallward in oscar wildes "picture of dorian gray" said - All influence is immoral—immoral from the scientific point of view

that means hedonism is my new way of life because correct and positive influence has taken over my body and soul that i fear i can't do without it

thank you for listening to my ted talk, if you think anything here needs correction, pls keep it to yourself for i simply do not care